PDF On the Meaning of Friendship Between Gay Men

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This all went down in the same interview in which Mr. But do give him credit for overcoming one of the most common deal-killers in friendships between straight and gay men: the awkward crush. For every sweeping statement one can make about such friendships, there is a real-life counter example to undermine the stereotypes. And as with all friendships, no two are exactly alike. Although male friends of opposite orientations can face formidable obstacles — sexuality, language, peer pressure, inequality — there seems to be more mutual appreciation and common ground.

Pop culture has also been picking up on this, serving up gay characters who have broken out of old stereotypes.

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Mills said. Complicating matters a bit, Mr. Adam Carter, 34, a straight fund-raiser from Chicago who frequently travels overseas, recalled losing a friend in Brazil after rejecting his advances. Carter said. But things were never the same. Now I know what girls feel like. A more common source of friction, some gay men say, is the tendency of straight friends to see them only through the lens of sexual orientation.

First they have questions, then they make fun of it, then they start seeing me as a person. In a surprising twist, she found that the straight men with the most evolved sense of masculinity — the ones who forged the tightest friendships with their gay friends — were from military families or had some military training. The insensitivity issue does tend to crop up in the form of poorly chosen words.

Does every woman need a gay best friend?

Justin Miller, 28, a straight mortgage broker, met Joshua Estrin, 39, a gay drama and dance teacher, at a networking party in Fort Lauderdale , Fla. View all New York Times newsletters.

According to Mr. Unlike some other gay men interviewed, Mr. Estrin said he found it easy to socialize with heterosexuals. Brandon Drew, 33, a financial adviser in Los Angeles who is straight, once learned a lesson in sensitivity from Louis Vachon, a gay ice skating instructor with whom he has been friends since Drew recalled. But Mr. Vachon got his revenge. When a girlfriend of Mr.

Questions Straight Men Have For Gay Men

Vachon quickly let her know that Mr. For every example of the sage gay man tolerating the brutish straight dude, there is a pair that defies classification. Peter Dangerfield, 38, a gay publicist, moved to New York from Chicago in and became roommates — and then friends — with David Lobenstine, 32, a straight massage therapist. In separate conversations, both men struggled to recall a time that sexuality came between them.


Lobenstine said. The two shared an apartment even after Mr. Please Note: Deliveries of items with this status cannot be tracked. Order placed with supplier, estimated arrival time to warehouse is business days. The Estimate Delivery Date is when your order is expected to arrive at your chosen delivery location.

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So What Does It Mean to Be a 'Friend of Dorothy?'

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